Surrender
I came to Earth Sanctuary for five solitary days with an intention to prepare for the Wesak Full Moon. My own inner preparation as well as an actual ceremony I was in charge of at the Theosophical Society, in Seattle. Surprisingly, after the first day of solitude, walking in the woods, and meditating, it became clear that I was to focus on surrender. This is a serious challenge for me right now because my husband is dealing with a life-threatening illness and I am trying to find my way into compassion while trying to let go of thinking I can control, or fix, any of it. So I read about surrender. I prayed about it. I meditated on it. I wrote in my journal about it. Finally, I went to the labyrinth and with every step into the center I released and “gave back” whatever came to my mind that was in need of surrendering. Standing in the center, I performed the Salat, a Sufi prayer of forgiveness, supplication and gratitude. I came across this wonderful way of praying in one of the books here called “Silver Linings, The Power of Trauma to Transform Your Life,” by a local author, Mellisa Gayle West. I used the prayer that she created as I performed the Salat. “Oh god, I surrender my mind to your wisdom, my heart to your love, and my life to your healing presence.” Feeling cleansed and open I left the labyrinth.
That night I had a profound dream in which I return home to find that this large storage room in my house (which is literally to the ceiling with stuff) has been totally cleaned out. Clear and clean with not one speck of dust, dirt or stuff in it. I am amazed. Then as I look at the clean room, I start to think that there are a few important things that I would have liked to keep. I am told that everything of importance is in another room, safe. I look and there are only a few boxes. Later that night, I have another dream in which I am in a sacred ceremony. I walk into the room with a stick of incense, stand before the altar that is there and hear the words, “be fluid in your consciousness.” I am aware that I am celebrating my new found liberation, through all my surrendering and am filled with gratitude. As I am, really – for this place – for all of you that keep it going, for your vision and your integrity. When I return home I look up the phrase, “fluid in consciousness” that I have recognized as part of an opening I often use in our drumming circle. We call the four directions and these words come from the west: “Spirits of the West, Great Mystery, Powers of Autumn, of water, we send a voice in prayer. We are asking for entrance through the gates of inner knowledge. We are seeking to cross the realms. Spirits of Water, help us be fluid in consciousness, to move easily through these days. We turn to the setting sun, in the place between day and night, asking guidance for intuition. We pray for the right doors to open, for the ability to look within and make good medicine from what we find there. We pray that we can grow within this path and be of service to others. Powers of twilight, we walk in your mystery and open to your gifts.” Thank you for the gift of Earth Sanctuary.
Thank you,
Karen Johannsen
